Real Love: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love & Fulfilling Relationships

This is one of my favorite books. It’s very insightful about why we act the way we do when we want something from another person. And why we treat them poorly when we don’t get our way. I think it’s the kind of book anyone can benefit from read. I like it so much that I bought this copy for a friend.

I had a major crisis in my life recently-A sort of Emotional Drowning, which caused me to desperately look for ANY sort of rescue. If you get this book, you can see me in the last chapter, the spouse with no hope he could see, except to leave his wife who he stilled loved. So here I was, getting more and more weary of nothing working--shrinks, marriage counselors, and even some ministers----wondering how did things get this bad, and ready to just let the drowning waves come over me, when I remembered something. A few years back--back when my life was super--I loved my wife, she loved me, we both loved our kidsa---a close friend, actually a fundamental Christian, of which I am the latter not the former, had mentioned just in passing that I really should not just "love" my wife but should have "unconditional love" for her--"Yeah, whatever, so what" was my response-my wife and I loved each other a lot, so what's the point if we call our love some title.So, before I slipped below the waves, I gave it one last shot---I Googled "Unconditional Love" and "book", with no real optimism that I would find anything to help me. This book popped up-Simple: I bought it---It saved my life!!The reason that I gave you my history is to show you that I had a BIG TIME NEED for the stuff in this book when I looked for it---That NEED was the ONLY reason I even looked for a book like this, much less read it. Had I read it about 5 years ago, when things "appeared" to be going just fine in my life, my reaction to the book would have been radically different. My review would have looked like this:3 Stars"This book is a very interesting read--filled with good concepts to follow, that, however, really don't apply to me, but might apply to you, because my life is great right now and because the small increase in love I might get above what I give and get right now, wouldn't be worth the effort necessary to do the stuff in this book. So I "could" recommend reading this book for how Dr Baer's interesting theories help other people--people who I really have sympathy for, but nothing in common with---they're not like me and my wife. We love each other a lot, and don't have any problems like those people in the book. Therefore, although I could recommend this book for its interesting theories, I don't really see any reason to read this book unless you have allowed your life to go down hill so far that you're like those people in the book".The title of my review: "If You Don't Think You Need This Book---You Do!!!". Looking back did I "need" a few years ago to put into practise the stuff in this book---You betcha. It took desperately trying to "do" the stuff in this book while I was drowning to realize that had "the light gone on" back when things "apparently" were just fine, my situation definitely would not have gotten this bad. But, sometimes I still seem to have to rationalize the deterioration of my marriage. I think--"Not my fault--I didn't know anything was wrong back then and I didn't even have a chance to decide to do something or not". Speaking of having chances, if you decide to get this book, I'd be curious which of my reviews you would write. Sorry, no punch line yet--but work is in progress, the waves have subsided and I'm getting closer to shore every day.

This book was suggested to me by a therapist friend of mine. I read it, accepted it as truth and tried to apply it in my own life. I was resistant at first, but after 2 years of telling the truth about myself and sharing the book with many friends, I can now offer an educated review of the book and the concepts within.The book begins with some brutal honesty. Some people seem to have difficulty in getting past the first few chapters. I think this is necessary, but it does scare some away that are not receptive to the ideology. I think Dr. Baer could've chosen a better writing style. However, the examples he uses are quite helpful and make one feel as though they are not the "only" one dealing with the chaos of an unfulfilling relationship. But we do not read self help books for entertainment. It does get redundant and repetitive and repetitious... however, it seems that he does this for a good reason, to hammer in the concept of telling the truth, being accepted, letting go of expectations, and accepting other peoples choices.The concept that he is presenting is quite simple in essence, yet very difficult to practice. If you are able to read the book, accept the concept as truth, and apply it to your life; your perception (and therefore your world) will change. I, along with about half of the people I have shown it to, can verily say that my life is significantly enhanced because of the concepts and practices that I learned from this book. Therein lies what makes this book and series special. Dr. Baer doesn't just present the material and hope that you will somehow, by force of will, figure out how to apply it. He presents the concept over and over and reinforces the need to find a support system. And he tells you how to find the support system.The other half read it and liked it but didn't have the courage to reach out to wise friends. And a few just couldn't read the book. They said that they didn't match up with the examples Dr. Baer used. Most of them seemed to mistakenly assume that they already knew what real love is and thought the book was a waste.I can testify that I now have many wise friends and I am a wise friend to many others, today. When I began this book, I had very few friends and I didn't truly trust any of them. I was rarely honest about my emotions. I protected my ego fiercely. And I manipulated as I saw fit to get what I wanted to make my fears subside.Real Love does not have all the answers, but it can be a fantastic tool if you are willing to approach it as such.I'd also advise, The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz; as a companion to reinforce the concept.  The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, A Toltec Wisdom Book  I'd also advise I Don't Want to Talk About It - Terrance Real; for those of us who find it too difficult to trust.  I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression

Absolutely beautiful.

Changed my life. Now part of the ReaLove family in the UK

Bit heavy going, but good principles.

Amazing book. One of the best books out there on unconditional love.

Life-changing.