How to Hug a Porcupine: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years: Negotiating the Prickly Points of the Tween Years Paperback – July 2, 2008

If you are a parent thinking ahead, or wondering how to handle issues (and when), this book is just what you need. It isn't a "how to" - it is a "here is the perspective you need to make your own decisions".While every example obviously won't suit your family situation, you will be getting a real dose of reality about the issues your children and their friends (and their friends' families) will be dealing with.Ms Ross approaches every issue with common sense and clear thinking. In several cases, I couldn't see myself handling the issues the way they were handled in the examples, but seeing how someone handled them is invaluable in thinking about what might be best in your family.The sections on drugs and sex were especially valuable for two reasons: 1) the advice was clear and sensible, and 2) if you think you can skirt the issues, or avoid tackling them head-on, you won't after you read this book - as Ms Ross guides you through the issues and various ways to handle them, she also makes clear exactly what is at stake for your child and his or her personal safety and happiness.If you are a concerned parent, you will find this highly intelligent book filled with thoughtful advice and interesting perspective on how other parents in this generation are dealing with this generation's issues.I've read lots of advice books, and none of them are perfect. But this is the one that left me with the clearest plans for dealing with critical Tween issues. Parenting isn't about reading a book and doing what it tells you - it's about understanding issues, and figuring out how to deal with them in a way that best suits you and your children. Ms Ross' book is a wonderful resource for intelligent,thinking parents.

I really liked this book. The message: you really cannot control your kids in high school...thus, middle school is a good time to focus on guiding vs controlling and making sure your relationship stays strong so they will come to you when they have challenges in high school. How to do that without being a push-over and still having limits is the core of the book. Lots of very specific ideas about how to interact with tweens. And a super helpful caterpiller/crysilis analogy that I found eye-opening. I found the book really helpful, and highly recommend it. I just bought a copy to give to my mom to help grandma think about new ways to interact with her tween grandkid.My only caveat would be to take the last couple chapters with a giant grain of salt, as they are outdated. It would be ideal if the author updated the book. The chapter on technology references Myspace and Friendster, which gives you some idea of how dated the book is (were they still relevant even in 2008?). And the chapter on sex ed suggests, albeit reluctantly, that it might be OK for parents with religious concerns about homosexuality to tell their gay tweens/teens that it's OK to be gay as long as you live your life without ever acting on those feelings. At best, an anachronistic message.But...there is so much good advice about interacting with your tween in this book. Just give those sections a pass to gather the gold in the other chapters.

Excellent advice for navigating some of the everyday conversations; some things should be taken with a grain of salt or keeping your family's unique dynamic and individual differences in personality in mind. The best part of this book? Practical strategies and how they might be employed in realistic interactions! Some tips from the book: family meetings, conversing with your recalcitrant teen without getting overwhelmed, avoiding letting your child rely on you to save the day every time they s/he has difficulty...after employing some of these, I can say they really have helped.

I listened to this book twice and will be reading and highlighting the most helpfull sections.

This is a great book, easy read and full of relatable stories.

Excellent book! I wish I had read this a year ago! Greatly helped me communicate with my daughter. The author talks about listening with heart and this is so important. I’ve realized my tween just wants to be heard and validated. This book has helped bring down the drama in our home. Highly recommend for anyone with daughters! Read it when she’s 10 so you are prepared as she goes through puberty.

My fault for not looking but this book was published in 2008 so at the time of my writing this it is 14 years old and out of date with today’s rapidly changing online/social media world. It may have had great chapters on things that don’t change such as difficult “tween attitudes” but for $17 I am going to return it and find something more up to date. Good luck parents of tweens!

I haven’t even finished it but it’s helped me already. It’s nice to know what we are going through is not crazy and I’m not alone. That itself was worth it. Easy read. Doesn’t leave me feeling helpless like some parenting books. God’s speed