Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion to Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges Paperback – March 19, 2019

As Den Heijer eloquently states, "When a flower doesn't bloom you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.""Our approaches fall short when we simply mist little flowers struggling to grow in parched soil. Instead, we need to tend the soil. In human beings, the 'soil' is safety in relationships - safety as perceived by each child's nervous system, not as defined by adults for the child."I highly recommend this book to anyone that works with children! It breaks down literal brain science and makes it make sense for us lay people. The book was an easy read with a lot of real life examples that helped explain the concepts and tons of worksheets that could be immediately utilized with children and families. The author also provides a lot of good resources.

As a psychotherapist I utilize this book as a source of comfort for the parents of my clients or for clients who have children that deal with mental distortions It's very comprehensive and you can actually see their relief on the parent's faces if you use this in session It's an easy read and I'm so happy about it

As someone who has limited training in behaviors and understanding the underlying causes, this book really explains everything clearly. I truly felt after reading this I had a better grasp on the "why" behind behaviors and how to better support my students. This book is great for school teachers, social workers, SLP, OT, PT and any other school professional. I'd also recommend this to parents!

I don’t even know if I can’t put into words how much this book has changed my life as a parent. I have a 5 year old son who has experienced medical trauma. I also suspect he is neurodiverse, but we do not have any “official” diagnoses yet. This book gave me so much VALIDATION. It put into words instincts I’ve felt as a mother. So many suggestions, so much advice from “professionals” over the years that never sit well with me, went against every instinct I have. And finally. FINALLY. I have the backup, the words, the SCIENCE as to why, as well as the tools to help me advocate for him. I have the tools to “screen” who is going to truly be on my son’s side & help us.Every chapter, I sat back & reflected & cried. Cried for the validation it gave me. Cried for the knowledge it gave me. Cried for the grieving process of realizing that all these years, over & over, people tried to convince me that my son was manipulating me & tried to get me to go against my instincts (& were successful at times). Cried for the power to finally & truly be able to help my son. His behaviors don’t feel overwhelming anymore. We are already reaping the benefits. It’s been life changing, & I’m so thankful for this book.

This book has changed the way I parent. I homeschool my 7 year old daughter . This book has changed my perspective on misbehavior and how it is the body’s way adapting and handling stress. It goes beyond the surface of behaviors and is grounded in neuroscience. It has changed how I connect and interact with my 7 year old . It has been so helpful and my daughter’s challenging behaviors have diminished dramatically . I would recommend this book to any parent , educator or anyone who interacts with kids .

I am a children's ministry director, I am dedicated to providing a church home for all of our kids. That said, we have been getting more and more children with challenging emotional and behavioral needs. I have been looking for a proven, research-backed resource on how to help all kids participate socially. In our case, in our community of faith. I did not want a bag of behavior changing tricks. I wanted to truly understand what my kids were struggling with when they had melt downs or lost control so I and my volunteers could meet them there and help them where they were at. When I found Delahook's book, I knew I had found what I was looking for. It does an excellent job at showing neurologically, biologically and developmentally what life is like from a child's perspective and why they act the way they do. Then it teaches how we adults can be the first intervention with them as a calming presence co-regulating their out of control emotions and eventually helping them to learn how to regulate themselves. Delahook's book is written as a resource for families and educators of special needs kids but I really think that her paradigm should be implemented in working with all children. I know that is what I plan to do. I am very excited to implement the truths in Beyond Behaviors in training all my volunteers.

This is one of the best books that I have read

This upcoming school year, I was tasked with creating professional development for our teachers that centered around "trauma informed teaching." Personally, I have utilized strategies on my own but it was hard to put it into words why my students had been successful when I was in the classroom. I struggled for a bit trying to think of how to develop a scope and sequence, how to figure out what to focus on and what to share with staff. I purchased this book after doing the preview, since I hoped it would help put into words what I struggled to do. I was right.What I love about the book is that it is very easy to understand and practical. The worksheets in the book are straightforward, and the material within the book helps people understand that "whys" behind behaviors. It's always been my belief that you can't focus on the behavior itself, because behavior is a method of communication. Looking at behaviors through that lens, you want to try to get the bottom of the communication - whether it is, "I'm overwhelmed right now" or "I don't feel comfortable here," there are lots of things are kids try to communicate with us without words. This book helps you break down the behaviors and get a better understanding of the root cause of what is happening. I highly recommend it.