The Art of Neighboring: Building Genuine Relationships Right Outside Your Door

Practical, encouraging, powerful. Know your neighbor - love your neighbor. Simple steps that can produce big changes thanks jay and dave!

Many years ago I preached my Grandpa Foster's funeral. While it was a very difficult thing to do, I was blessed. The order of service for the funeral was unusual. It read, "Services for Robert Lee Foster ... Service performed by Robert Lee Foster."While preaching the service, I was very nervous and in mourning. I had a very difficult time holding it together but I am called of God and my grandmother asked me to preach the service. I wanted to say "no" but I am glad that I didn't because I would have missed a huge blessing. A blessing that continues to bless me today.As people where leaving the service, I received many kind words from my family. Many of my grandparent's neighbors and friends who were in attendance that day also shared words of sympathy with me. I started to notice a theme in their comments about my grandfather. They kept telling me about various things that my grandfather had done for them and how much they appreciated my grandfather. Many of them said, "He was a good neighbor."My grandfather lived his more than ninety years in rural Kansas. He worked on oil rigs into his seventies. He also served the local community church as a lay minister. I am biased (and one of his namesakes) because he is my grandpa. I knew that he was great! But to stand at his funeral and hear the community express their gratitude for his "neighborliness" was a true blessing. I learned something that day: being a good neighbor matters.A few months back one of my friends stumbled on a recent publication: Jay Pathak and David Runyon, The Art of Neighboring (Grand Rapids: Baker, 2012). The title struck a cord with me and I thought that I should read that book. A few weeks went by and then it was offered as a free daily deal on Kindle so I downloaded it. I finished reading it last week and I am impressed.The basic narrative of the book is a story about a church in Colorado that is trying to find a way to serve their community. They decided to live out the Second Greatest Commandment, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself" (Mark 12:31), not generically but specifically. Consistently though out the book, they remind us,"The problem is...that when we aim for everything, we hit nothing. So when we insist we're neighbors with everybody, often we end up being neighbors with nobody" (page 35; Kindle, location 382).The whole book is good, practical advice about how to build a network of people in your neighborhood to care for the needs around you. Themes of friendship, compassion, forgiveness, and reconciliation are woven throughout the book. Chapter eleven, "The Art of Forgiving" is a must read for solid, practical advice on "When Neighbors are Enemies...What do you do when you have a neighbor you can't seem to get along with?" (page 156; Kindle, location 1695). [As far as I know, I am currently at peace with my neighbors.]Many of us would say, "I am too busy to add anything else to my life." And indeed, we are a busy culture. One of the admonitions that they gave to reorient our priorities was "be interruptible.""The idea of being interruptable is being willing to be inconvenienced. It means developing a mind-set that accepts the interruptions of others" (page 55; Kindle, location 602).This is one area where I desperately need to improve, with my neighbors, my family, my friends, my students...you get the picture!You should also check out their website, artofneighboring.com, but it will make more sense once you have read the book. The website includes many excellent resources for living out the teachings in the book. Including:- a pdf copy of the block map talked about in the book- how to start a movement guides for both civic and church leaders- how to cast a vision for your city- a block party kit- and a host of other digital resources!The book is a good book. I hope that you will read it for yourself and think about how you might become an intentional good neighbor."Start now, by doing the small things well, and commit to good neighboring as a lifestyle. You have been invited to begin a sacred journey, one that has the potential to change your block, your city, and possibly the world" (page 184; Kindle. location 2014).My grandpa had that figured out and his neighbors gave witness. Will yours? Will mine?

It’s so practical and obvious, but so insightful and encouraging all at the same time. So thankful for this challenge to be more like Jesus to my neighbors.

I picked up this book a couple months ago when I visited The Austin Stone Community Church in Austin, TX. They had a kiosk in the foyer with recommended reading relating to the topic of that morning's sermon (which was excellent, by the way), and this was one of them.I'd never read a book on neighboring. I don't know that I'd ever heard of a book on neighboring. And honestly, I'd never considered "neighboring" to be a verb. So I bought it. I'm glad I did!Pathak & Runyon are both pastors based in Denver, Colorado. This book grew out of an initiative in which their churches—along with eighteen others—joined forces to encourage their congregants to become better neighbors, at the encouragement of local elected officials. Their goal: mobilizing every church member to be intentional about reaching out to those who live close to them, and to build and foster relationships that lead to stronger, more caring neighborhoods all over their city."But why do we need a book about this? Shouldn't the Bible be enough to convince us to love our neighbor as ourselves?"Sure. Maybe. But do you intentionally reach out to your neighbors to the extent that you probably should? I know I don't. So maybe I needed something like this after all.One of their main points is a great one: We often misinterpret (or at least misapply) Luke 10:25-37. When a lawyer, seeking to justify himself, asked Jesus "who is my neighbor," Jesus responded by telling the Parable of the Good Samaritan. The takeaway is that everyone is my neighbor. Who am I called to love as I love myself? Everyone!Well, that's all true, so far as it goes. But the argument Pathak & Runyon make is that if "everyone" is my neighbor, it can be easy to overlook those who are my actual neighbors, living in close proximity to me. And while Jesus' commandment to love "everyone" stands, the fact remains that I can't love "everyone" specifically; I can only demonstrate love to those I actually encounter. Since God has providentially placed me in a certain place and time, the authors argue compellingly that I have a special calling to love those He has placed near me in a specific, tangible, sacrificial way.That's an important point, to be sure, and they build their case effectively, but it doesn't require a whole book to get that point across. The Art of Neighboring spends a couple short chapters establishing the "why" of being a good neighbor, but the bulk of this book is very practical. Pathak & Runyon lay out a very specific strategy for building relationships with your neighbors, and developing unity in your community.One challenging concept which struck me as odd at first, but which I later grew to accept, is that "good neighboring" does not need to be—and sometimes definitely ought not to be—explicitly evangelical. That is, building genuine, loving, long term relationships with our neighbors does not require us to draw every conversation back to the Gospel. It's not that we should avoid talking about Jesus... more that we should trust that, as we build trust and camaraderie with someone, the Spirit will open doors to share the Gospel at times when our neighbors will be ready to receive it. I know I've turned people off in the past by hitting them so hard with the Gospel that I forgot to love them (that is the point of the Parable of the Good Samaritan, after all!), resulting in doors that became closed for building any kind of relationship.Each chapter is genuinely helpful, though I often found myself skimming large sections. The biggest drawback is that this good book would have been a great book if it were about 80 pages shorter. The concept and the content are excellent, but the authors obviously had a word count quota that caused them to restate their points more often than necessary.Still, this book is very unique, and very much worth your time.

I've had the privilege of knowing Jay a bit over the last 7 years or so, and his input has really shaped my life to want to know Jesus more and to live for Jesus more. I'm so glad he's finally written/ co-written a book, and this book is just his heartbeat. It's the way he really lives. I've never met a guy who is so passionate about really leaning into "loving your neighbour" and learning how to do that well. This is a great book on how to learn how to be a better neighbour to others. Both to the strangers you've lived next door to for years, and for everyone else you do life with. One of the blind spots of the christian faith is often how we relate to those we live next door to and across the street from, because often everyone but them are considered are neighbours it seems. This book redresses that imbalance.This book is such a simple concept it's quite challenging and even offensive to the way that i and many others live out the christian life. I highly recommend this book for anyone who wants to take the greatest commandment seriously. I've watched in change Jay's life, and those in his church and many others jay has spoken to and invested in. I am just one of the many people who have been changed by God through Jay's understanding of the greatest commandment. If you let God speak to you, this book won't just transform you and your life, it'll transform your community.

Good points about how Jesus told us to be a neighbour, and how we often don't even know our neighbours' names. Not an evangelism method, though -- this method will be unlikely to bring people to Christ. This is evidenced by the total lack of conversion stories in the book. But that certainly doesn't mean that we shouldn't strive to be more neighbourly.

A brilliant book. All you need to do if you're a UK reader is culturally contextualise (from US to UK!). The premise of the book and the practical nature of it are excellent. Many people in our church have now read it and it's been very helpful

Helps you to work out how interpersonal relations can be fostered and grow, Using simple things. Good for those who want to improve their relationships.

There's no rocket science in here, just a good readable book full of plenty of great points and stories that anyone can get their teeth into.Great read!