Random House Books for Young Readers The Self-Driven Child: The Science And Sense Of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives

In a sentence: Creating a sense of control (agency) over their own lives is the most impactful lesson a parent can impart to help their children be prepared for life.Who should read it: Parents, coaches and teachers, especially those who are obsessed with success as they define it in their children, students, athletes.The logic of this book is pretty straightforward. If you don't believe you have control over your life you won't take actions to that effect and no skills or talents will have the stamina or rigor develop much less to survive in the real world stressors one will have to face. The opposite approach taken by many parents seems to be to try and shield children and make decisions for them because they 'know what's best' which may work temporarily but is doomed to fail them eventually.The most troubling take away from this book is of the real life stories the authors tell. Truly scary how many parents are themselves in a completely delusional world and forcing it upon their children. If the stories were about another form of child abuse (handicapping your children because of your own fears and weakness) you would be horrified about the repeating generational damage being done here. But because these parents are pushing something that is 'right' such as test scores they can tell a story about their own actions as being virtuous. Swap a few words to describe these actions as pursuing beauty and we'd have no problem calling it what it is. Abuse. Even in the face of professionals who's expertise they have sought out and are paying for these parents dig in. It's truly disturbing.

Good book. Highly recommend.

The pages are torn and the cover page is very dirty.The book is in a bad condition.Very disappointed

Un ramassis de blabla inutile, une pure perte de temps et d’argent.

So, my relationship with my 11 year was getting strained. The more I pushed, the worse it got. Not doing homework, being late for school, bedroom a complete mess. I was starting to get shouty and frustrated. I was thinking, I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want to be that parent that oversees everything my child does. I don’t want to manage her. I don’t want her to blame me when things go wrong for her. I want her to take control, steer her own way through life. Sure I want her to know I’m always here for her and will help in anyway I can.This book fixed everything! She thinks I am the best Mum ever and now she is 12…the dreaded pre-teen and she thinks I’m awesome. But I do less, a lot less, I stress less, I worry less, I trust her more, she tidies her room (more than before anyway), she gets her homework done. She gets herself to school on time. She even takes herself to bed when she’s tired.It isn’t what you do, it’s the way you do it. Little changes, rewording things that help them realise their life is theirs, it’s all down to them. Let them make mistakes, it’s ok because they will learn from them. I don’t want to be the boss of my kids, I want them to be their own boss and this magical book takes you through lots of scenarios, explains how the brain works and gives you answers to your parenting tactics along the way!I highly recommend this book and frequently do when mums are explaining problems they have with their kids. Buy it, read it, refer back to it. When things start going wrong again, think back to the book and fix it with all this amazing knowledge!