---
product_id: 4197861
title: "Coming home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up"
brand: "nancy n verrier"
price: "€ 29.80"
currency: EUR
in_stock: true
reviews_count: 8
url: https://www.desertcart.de/products/4197861-coming-home-to-self-the-adopted-child-grows-up
store_origin: DE
region: Germany
---

# Coming home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up

**Brand:** nancy n verrier
**Price:** € 29.80
**Availability:** ✅ In Stock

## Quick Answers

- **What is this?** Coming home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up by nancy n verrier
- **How much does it cost?** € 29.80 with free shipping
- **Is it available?** Yes, in stock and ready to ship
- **Where can I buy it?** [www.desertcart.de](https://www.desertcart.de/products/4197861-coming-home-to-self-the-adopted-child-grows-up)

## Best For

- nancy n verrier enthusiasts

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## Description

Coming home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up

## Images

![Coming home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/815JihGNzKL.jpg)
![Coming home to Self: The Adopted Child Grows Up - Image 2](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81SdAyc4udL.jpg)
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## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Good read
*by K***S on April 3, 2025*

Really good read with lots of insightful chapters!

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Powerful resource for understanding  adoption issues
*by L***E on January 6, 2004*

"Coming home to Self" (The adopted child grows up)This is a book of great depth and investigation into the experience of being adopted, and is an invaluable tool to understanding and healing for adopted people, their family of origin and adoptive family.Verrier presents accessible information of the way the brain changes when children are separated from their mothers at birth, and how they build a false self in order to survive, yet how this false self serves them not, as they become adults.She speaks about adoptees retaining the fight or flight mode because they are unwittingly always affected by their initial separation trauma. How the false self that mantles many adoptees, also prevents them from having authentic relationships and makes intimacy difficult. The adoptee who uses the false self to prevent further pain, building impenetrable walls around their hearts, are also isolated by them.This book is challenging, as it encourages the adopted person to recognise their choice to remain in victim mode and encourages them to take responsibility for their effect on others. Verrier points out that adoptees are often insensitive with others, yet ultra sensitive to any comments or action that they see might be derogative to themselves ...in fact, sometimes their agenda colors everything anyone says as potentially negative, and they may be always ready to rail against it. Verrier points out that this is because of the initial trauma of separation from the mother, which has kept the adoptee in a traumatised state.Verrier encourages adoptees to reassess what is really happening in their present situation, in order for them to start healing their relationships and their lives.This is powerful writing with clear and thoroughly researched insight.Lina Eve [...]

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ESPECIALLY if you are an adoptee, birth mom, or adoptive parent!
*by D***Z on December 18, 2021*

I am a birth mom who surrendered my son in 1969. I had read Primal Wound when it came out and just found this follow up. My son and I have been in and out of reunion due to adoption (primal wound) issues, and we've been in our last reunion for 3 years now. This book has been SUCH a blessing in helping us to understand and grow. What I love about this book is that many of the issues concern people who've experienced 'pre-verbal' trauma, and that would be me. No wonder reunion was about 2 wounded toddlers with no real adults! This book is actually just priceless! Now that I am aware of traumas I and my son and others experienced, I am GROWING UP! I would give this book 10 stars if that were possible. Thank you Nancy Verrier for your devotion to helping bring many into awareness and healing!

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*Product available on Desertcart Germany*
*Store origin: DE*
*Last updated: 2026-02-04*