Bitch

The Collins sisters teamed up again in 1979 to make “The Bitch,” trying to repeat what made its predecessor, “The Stud,” successful. That means lots of softcore sex and hardcore disco. Unfortunately, Jackie and Joan, aided and abetted by director Gerry O’Hara, who also adapted the book into a screenplay, appear to be faking it this time out. It’s telling when the titular bitch Fontaine Khaled (Joan Collins) turns down an invitation to join a pool orgy, explaining she’s now past that sort of thing. Had this moment come earlier in the movie, it would count as foreshadowing.To its credit, “The Bitch” does have more of a story than “The Stud.” Fontaine becomes mixed up with gambler Nico Cantafora (“Michael Coby,” a.k.a. Antonio Cantafora, the guy you cast when you can’t afford Franco Nero), when he uses her to smuggle a stolen diamond ring into London by hiding the jewelry in the pocket of Fontaine’s fur coat while seated next to her on a plane. Nico and Fontaine are separated, so Nico, who really needs that diamond to pay off a debt owed to the mob, enlists the help of his fence (a pre-“Cheers” John Ratzenberger) to track her down. Meanwhile, Fontaine has learned her nightclub, Hobo, is failing. Ever the shrewd businesswoman, she tries to save it by living it up at competing clubs, all of which look nearly identical. It’s during Fontaine’s London club crawl that Nico catches up to her, seduces her and retrieves his stolen ring—only to lose Fontaine when she catches him riffling through her fur coats (“What are you, a furrier?”). When the plan to fence the ring goes south, the mob, headed by a “Thrush Feather” (no, seriously), played by Ian Hendry with far more gravitas than the movie deserves, violently persuades Nico to fix a horse race. Nico seduces his way back into Fontaine’s good graces in order to execute his plan. However, when Fontaine learns of the race-fixing scheme she decides to make her own deal with the mob.This all sounds a lot more hopping than it is. Though I haven’t read either of the books on which “The Stud” and “The Bitch” are based, I am familiar enough with Jackie Collins’ other writings to know she was not one, in the words of drive-in movie critic Joe Bob Briggs, to let the plot get in the way of the story. Criminal machinations and business schemes take a back seat to looking fabulous, going to parties and indiscriminate sex. But the parties here aren’t as outrageous as they should be, and though Fontaine still has plenty of sex (it’s just orgies she’s done with, or possibly just orgies in bodies of water), none of it is particularly heated or explicit, making one suspect it was the actress, not the character, who was past naked frolics in swimming pools. The movie does get one thing right, though: Joan does indeed look fabulous in her late-’70s fashions.And it’s Joan Collins who largely makes this movie compelling in spite of its tepid script, lukewarm sex scenes and bargain bin disco (the cheesy theme song and an early Blondie track are the only listenable songs on the soundtrack). Joan may show less skin this time out, but she’s still in full vixen mode (“How do you imagine me in the sack, Ricky?” she teases her chauffeur). Though “Dynasty” was still a few years away when she made “The Stud” and “The Bitch,” one could see easily see the part of Fontaine Khaled as a dry run of Joan’s career-revitalizing role as Alexis Carrington.In its Blu-ray incarnation “The Bitch” looks better than it likely ever has. Extras include trailers for this movie and its predecessor, but Kino Lorber needn’t have bothered with the Gerry O’Hara interview or the commentary track from David Del Valle and Nick Redman, film historians with too much time on their hands. Fans are really only interested in hearing from two people involved with this movie, one of whom is no longer with us. The other one isn’t talking.

The movie was an obvious allegory depicting the difficulty of being a stay at home wife with several unruly children. It also shows that a husband may often be unable to perform the same duties . The movie is also a comedy and and requires suspending belief. Wit that is it very enjoyable and you can't wait to see what will happen next. Marianna Palka is superb as the wife (and directs and writes) and Jason Ritter does a reasonable job as the husband who is at his wits end.

It was really different. I like Jason Ritter so I rented it. It was interesting but not great.

I love Marianna Palka and Jason Ritter so much! He does wonderfully in this movie as the lead character. You think the plot is going one way but then it turns everything on its head in almost a fantasy way. I enjoyed it a lot and need to re-watch it for all the subtleties I most likely missed.

Weird. I'm 70 and didn't need to be assaulted with feminism in such a way. I'm no mysogonyst and found little to laugh at in this movie. I generally like her other work.

Smart, silly, touching and thought provoking. I was definitely entertained the entire time!! If you're looking for something to watch, I recommend.

Contains aspects of: Madness, Dark Comedy

Excellent movie. Wonderful filmmaker.