Ugly Love: A Novel

5 “liquid” “my new favorite words” “We’ve got this.” KissesHoly bananas Colleen Hoover just demolished me. Completely and 100% blew me away…not that I’m surprised or anything because she never ceases to amaze me but…OMG! Let the book hangover commence because this one is going to be a doozy to recover from. I was pulled in from the beginning and giving the angsty ride of my life...and I loved every second of it!Elizabeth Tate Collins...where do I begin with Tate. I freakin adored her...I couldn’t help myself. I can’t even tell you the exact moment when it happened or what pushed me over the edge…she took me by storm. Tate really is a force to be reckoned with. She’s so freaking smart…already a nurse at the age of 23 and pursuing her master’s degree in nursing…she’s driven, focused and determined…genuine, kind and caring…but she’s not a pushover. I loved her sense of humor…she’s sweet, funny and sassy. She’s got her own little quirks but I just found them more adorable. I liked her attitude and I think, as usual, the key for me was that I was totally emotional connected to her. Everything she felt…I felt. I related to her in some ways, but that wasn’t even the half of what drew me to her. Tate is a very compelling heroine…she’s just one of these extremely relatable girls that is easy to fall in love with…and it’s easy to see why Miles did as well..‘Something strange is going on in my chest. A flutter, flutter kind of thing. I hate it, because I know what it means. It means my body is really starting to like Miles.I just hope my brain never catches up.'Miles Mikel Archer...oh Jesus Lord in heaven this boy, where do I even begin. He stole my heart…held my heart...he crushed my heart...and then he healed my heart. As closed off and emotionally detached as Miles was, I was still incredibly drawn to him...and that's saying something considering I am an emotional reader. I think it's because the glimpses of emotion that we get in the beginning from him are like moments of gold...I clung to those because they were just...so amazing! Knowing how much those affected me...how could I not want more?!? I swear…the moment he stroked Tate’s foot and cracked a smile I was DONE FOR people. Just done. I know…I sound crazy, but that boy melted my heart and he continued to do so for the remaining 80% of the book. Oh Miles…Miles Miles Miles…every time I thought I had no more feels left to give…he painfully extracted them from my body…every time I thought he cannot be more perfect (yes…even with his walls!)…he proved me wrong with his words and actions. Miles is very understated...he’s sexy but it’s not shoved in your face and he doesn’t act like a conceited @#% hat. He’s successful but he doesn’t brag about it or let it go to his head. He’s sweet, kind and thoughtful…but its like he doesn’t want anyone to know. But Tate knows…‘I’ve always been a sucker for the quiet types of guys. Primarily because most guys talk too much, and it’s painful having to suffer through every single thought that goes through their heads. Miles makes me wish he were the opposite of the quiet type, though. I want to know all the thoughts that pass through his head. Especially the one thought that’s in there right now, hiding behind that unwavering, stoic expression.’Hmm...how do I describe Miles and Tate...hot...sensual...electric...passionate...just YES! How can it not be? Their relationship is based of one thing...sex. Now…before we get crazy, it’s not erotica, it’s tasteful but it’s still sexy as hell. Heck…everything about Miles and Tate was sexy and addictive…I truly could not get enough of them. I thrived off of Miles and Tate together...they are just that amazing. You could see even in the littlest things how happy and complete he made her and as much as he tried to fight it, I could tell she was chipping away at that hardened shell. It was hard though…seeing the impact of his decisions and what that did to Tate…it hurt my heart, but…I never once questioned her decisions. I was waiting for that point when I would get frustrated or angry with what Tate was doing…it didn’t come. I got it…because I understood her feelings for him…I would have done the same thing! Truly, the thought of her walking away from him killed me more than the angst they were experiencing.‘He brings his hands up and slides them through my hair, brushing his thumbs across my cheeks. He inhales a shaky breath while looking down at my mouth. “You make it so hard to breathe.”He punctuates his sentence with his kiss, bringing his lips over mine. Every remaining part of me that had yet to melt in his presence is now liquefied like the rest of me. I try to recall a time when a man’s mouth felt this good against mine. His tongue slides across my lips, then dips inside, tasting me, filling me, claiming me.Oh….my.I.Love.His.Mouth.’Tate and Miles are so…unique. I loved that we got both of their POV’s…I love the way both of their POV’s are presented…and I’m being intentionally vague on that because I don’t want to spoil things because that was part of the surprise for me. I wasn’t expecting to get both but it was honestly genius and a totally different approach. I guess…the best way for me to describe without giving too much away is that I fell in love with Miles twice…which is probably why he got to me so deeply. You get to see two very different sides to him, both of them are amazing and wonderful (hence…the falling in love) but that’s where my struggle began. Now…before I go on, we’ve established, I love Miles…I love everything I know about him and every second I learned more I fell more…I love the good, the bad and the ugly…I felt like a part of my heart broke with him…I shed tears for him…flaws and all he is still perfect in my eyes. So…here’s the problem…I was so connected with Tate and feeling her pain…so I was getting double duty pain…with her and for him…it sometimes felt like I was being ripped in two. The struggle is real…‘A kiss is so much easier than what we’re doing. When you kiss, you can close your eyes. You can kiss away the thoughts. You can kiss away the pain, the doubt, the shame. When you close your eyes and kiss, you protect yourself from the vulnerability.This isn’t us protecting ourselves.This is confrontation. This is a standoff. This is eye-to-eye combat. This is a dare, from me to Miles, from Miles to me. I dare you to try to stop this, we’re both silently screaming.’I could babble on and on all day about these two…but that’s not all there is. There are two other very important men in Tate’s life and I thoroughly enjoyed the relationships she had with them. First…her brother Corbin…he is the typical older brother, super protective, loving to a fault and no one is good enough for his little sister. I liked their closeness…at a time when Tate needed someone, he was there for her in his own way and they had a very easy relationship…except when it comes to Tate’s dating life, but I thought it was cute that he was so caring and wanted what was best for her. In all honesty…if it wasn’t for Corbin…there would be no Tate and Miles…so it’s really all his fault. Then we have Cap….his real name is Samuel but it just looks weird calling him that cause…well, he’s Cap. He’s an 80 year old man that turned into one of Tate’s closest friends and I don’t think I could have loved their relationship more if I wanted to. He was this little injection of comedic relief, his timing was perfect and there is no other word for Cap besides awesome.‘“What do you think would make a man never want to experience love again?”Cap doesn’t answer my question for at least five floors. I eventually look at him, and he’s looking right at me, his eyes narrowed, producing even more wrinkles between them. “I suppose if a man lived through the ugliest side of love, he might never want to experience it again.”I contemplated his answer, but it doesn’t help much. I don’t see how love could get ugly enough for a person to just shut himself off from it completely.’Of course the writing is absolutely flawless…it’s Colleen Hoover, there was never any doubt in my mind. I’m in awe of her. I literally don’t feel like I’m reading when I read her books…it’s an experience…I live it with the characters. I immerse myself in her stories and I think it’s genuinely impossible not to walk away from them a changed human. Every sentence blends perfectly…the flow is smooth…I’m just effortlessly pulled in. It’s torture to stop reading and you never want the journey to end. I liked that this book was a little different from some of her others…but it still had that CoHo vibe to it – her tone is still there, the characters still have that special edge that make them classically hers, but it was just a little more mature. Seriously, the one common thing with all of her books is the level of emotion that she pours into them…especially this one. Every time I think there is no way she can out do it…can make me cry again…can angst my heart out more…can create characters that I can love to bits and pieces…and yet she does. Every. Single. Time. It’s brilliant wrapped in genius dipped in amazing…shot straight through my brain and into my heart.‘She’s absolutely beautiful. Her hope is beautiful. The smile on her face is beautiful. The tears streaming down her cheeks are beautiful.Herloveisbeautiful.’I am a self professed clinger…and I’m struggling to let go of Miles and Tate but…I can’t deny…Ugly Love is a perfect standalone. Do I think Corbin deserves a book? Your darn tootin’…that boy is a man whore and I LOVE my man whores…he is a recipe for awesome in the making when combined with Colleen’s brain…but that still doesn’t change that I couldn’t have asked for anything better than the way Miles and Tate’s story ended. It was perfection…big red bow and all. I laughed…I cried…I loved…it was beautiful and ugly and everything I wanted and I will never look at water the same way again.

“If I were capable of loving someone… it would be you.”Colleen Hoover is a genius, plain and simple. I’ve read Slammed/Point of Retreat/This Girl and Maybe Someday/Maybe Not and I’ve loved them all, but after reading Ugly Love I can easily say that this was my favorite CoHo book that I’ve read so far! This woman has such a way with words, her writing is just a joy to read, even when she’s tearing your heart out. I don’t know how she does it, she doesn’t use big fancy words or complicated prose, these are just ordinary everyday words but the way she puts them all together is simply magical. It’s hard for me to describe, but if you’ve read any CoHo books I think you know what I’m talking about. All of her stories are so unique and amazing but one thing they all have in common is Colleen Hoover’s gift with words. I know exactly what I’ll be getting when I pick up one of her books in terms of writing and quality, but I am always surprised with the direction her stories take. It’s always an incredible adventure and I love going along for the ride.I loved how this book was narrated, it’s told from dual POVs, alternating every other chapter between Tate and Miles. The thing that made this book unique is that Tate’s chapters were set in the present day and (with the exception of the last few chapters) all of Miles’ chapters were set 6 years earlier. So we essentially get two separate love stories that are both wonderful and beautiful that come back together in such a great way. I loved getting Miles’ backstory in the form of these flashback chapters, first off they were so amazingly written, they just flowed like poetry and I found myself lost in these simple words:‘My new favorite flavor is Rachel. My new favorite thing is Rachel. I want Rachel for my birthday. I want Rachel for Christmas. I want Rachel for graduation. Rachel, Rachel, Rachel. I’m gonna fall in love with you anyway, Rachel.’Secondly, in Tate’s chapters Miles really is an enigma and without his current day POV you really don’t have much clue what’s going on behind that wall he’s put up:‘Still no smile, though. Jesus Christ, this man. Does he now realize that facial expressions are supposed to accompany speech?’But reading his flashback chapters really helped understand what Miles’ potential to love was. Before you find out what happened to him in the past that caused him to be so closed off you get to see what a huge heart he has and his great capacity for love. This book was just as much Miles and Rachel’s love story as it was Miles and Tate’s story, you’d think that as a reader you’d have ill feelings towards the “other woman” because you know you should be rooting for Tate but there’s none of that. I felt Miles and Rachel’s story just as fully as I did him and Tate.Colleen Hoover’s characters are always so well written, they are well developed, incredibly detailed and 100% relatable. I totally loved Tate, she was a riot and she said and did things that I could see myself doing in those situations and I connected with her right away. I loved her inner musings as she tried to figure Miles out or tried to soak up any little scrap of hope he threw her way:‘“You look pretty, Tate.” I want to plaster those four words on a billboard and require myself to pass it on my drive to work every day. I would never take another day off work again.’There were some times when Miles would do something where Tate totally should have walked away, but I think she reacted how many women would react and I know that she didn’t give up completely on Miles because she knew what was happening between them was real even though he would never admit it. Miles intrigued me from the start and from their first meeting where she witnessed his very private breakdown I knew that I was in for a doozy when his past was revealed. I knew he must have endured some horrible event(s) that caused him to swear off any form of love, and wow was he dedicated to his rules:“Don’t ask about my past,” he says firmly. “And never expect a future.”I’ve never seen a character hold so steadfastly to rules like he did. We got to see moments, tiny glimpses of actions or a slipped word that gave us some hope but just as quickly as we grasped that hope he snatched it right back. I was so sad for him and falling so in love with him at the same time (much like Tate, only with the added bonus of seeing what a wonderful guy he was six years earlier when he was still full of life and love) and I just wanted to hug him. My heart completely broke for him as his full past is finally revealed, and I will say that what actually happened was not at all what I was expecting. But I love how once we hit that point the story shifts to all present day and it’s seamless and I love how it put my heart back together again and wrapped up in a totally believable and satisfying way.In addition to Tate and Miles I loved all of the secondary characters. I’ve already mentioned Rachel and I did really love her. I also loved Corbin and his friendship with Miles and his protectiveness of his sister. I also liked seeing Ian and Miles’ relationship both in the past and in the present day. My favorite secondary character however was Cap, I LOVED Cap! I love how Colleen Hoover can throw in a quirky random character like this and make you totally fall in love with them and have them end up being so important to the overall story.I read this book over the course of a few hours spread out the day, I simply could not put it down. I struggled though because I wanted to read as fast as I possibly could to find out what happens next but at the same time I wanted to slow down to savor every single word on the page! In the end speed won out but I think I highlighted half the book with passages I wanted to always remember! I’m going to have to re-read this book someday because I don’t think one time is enough for something written as well as this was. I’m sad I don’t have more time with Miles and Tate but I am so glad that I was able to spend one wonderful afternoon/evening in their world with them and I know I will never forget this amazing, beautiful, ugly love story! 5+++ stars!‘But the second she opened her eyes and looked at me, I knew. She was either going to be the death of me… or she was going to be the one who finally brought me back to life.’