1001 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

I’m a therapist and recommend this book as my go book for couples, whether they are engaged or already married. Very insightful questions that you would not think about asking but important to know. Also has a section with scenarios with multiple choices to understand how your partner problem solves.

This book is FANTASTIC and I buy a copy for any friend who is thinking about getting engaged. Some folks complained this book has logical basic questions you should know about your spouse before agreeing to walk down the aisle - but that's exactly the point! I really do think far too many people getting married nowadays assume once they know the very basics (Do you want kids? Do you want to be rich? Will we share a bank account?) and they love the person, they're set! I think the "logical" things aren't all that common anymore and there is nothing to hurt in prepping yourself and your future spouse as much as possible beforehand - you WANT to stay together right? So take some time and go through this. My fiancé and I sat around, going through the questions together, a few day while lounging about after work - it's not hard and can even be fun. We knew far more than it seems many couples knew going into the book, but still found good topics to cover! And we've been happily married for six years. This book walks couples through a lot of the LOGICAL (sorry, no, they're not all fun and whimsy - but fun and whimsy doesn't build a marriage, those are the perks!), solid questions you should cover before committing your life to someone. Beyond having kids, it walks through what you might each do in a situation during their upbringing. On finances, you go from basics about banking to taxes to how to handle situations regarding layoffs and other woes. From defining each version of "cheating" (this really does vary person to person, oddly enough, as so many couples forget about lines coworkers may try to cross or emotional cheating), etc. If you can't sit down and go through this book with the person you plan to marry because you find it boring or the questions obsolete - frankly, you probably shouldn't be getting married. You'll only gain healthy insight and good, open discussions on any possible disagreements - no losses, here. And if you make it to the very end of the book and find that you gained nothing new and had already come to agreement on every single question posed, then be GLAD you were able to spend $10 to find out that you really DO know what you're in for.

My now-husband and I worked through this book when we were dating. I wanted to pursue a long term relationship with him but was unsure if our lives and ideas were compatable. I also had no idea how to start the conversation. This was one of the very few books I could find without a religious agenda or undercurrent, which was important to me due to a history of religious trauma. This book is the single best thing we did before engagement. We'd sit at a bar or resturaunt, go through a topic each outing, and take turns sharing answers and details. It was low pressure because the book was the one asking the questions, meaning that no one could feel attacked or put on the spot. These frank discussions when a *long* way to helping us build a foundation of trust, transparency, and honest communication free from fear of recrimination. This book is quite literally the reason I had the courage to invest in our relationship. Its 6+ years since we started the book, and we just celebrated out 5 year anniversary. Many of the answers shared over this book continue to inform our every day life. Frank, honest conversations are difficult to have, but are exceedingly important. I continue to recommend this book to others looking for a springboard into those sorts of discussions.

Have you read the updated Bestseller in Hardback called the Hard questions? If not, it's good too but this book applies much more to a broader audience provided you don't already know everything you possibly could about your lover and there family and your viewpoints and all of them and situations you may incounter with them. Unlike it's competitors this book is not also just a workbook but also a grt relationship book even if your not about to marry but want or are in a serious relationship with someone. It may improve it. The info isn't hard to know on your own but it is touching on some unusual areas not just typical ones. Like if one of you is or wants to be famous; your family past compared to your mates; how your family's get along, and more. This makes it a grt book also for people who don't usuasually need self-help books or improved unhealthy relationship guidance. So this is the best book out now on the subject and I've read many partially to give you all great reviews.! Even if the book wasn't grt! But this one is! By the way this author is an awesome person and this book gives advice not just questions. Do I think it could of been better? Yes! But, I love the publisher and the publisher is the best academic publisher out there! So the publisher must of seen this books potential 2!

got this as a gift for my bf. great way to build your relationship as you guys are bringing up marriage

I checked out several other books before deciding on this one. I like the fact that it wasn't primarily focused on religion. I gave it as a gift to a person in a serious relationship. She says it is helpful.

We've had friends hit points in their relationships where they realize they're at an impasse with their partners about major issues (or seemingly minor points in them that become major) like finances, family, careers, or religion, and say that they wish they had talked about it before it became major. It seems so much more difficult to discuss these things once they become points of contention, and we hoped to try to avoid at least some of that by discussing what we can early on. We didn't go through every single question in this book – some we had already discussed, for example, and some didn't seem applicable to us – but the sheer variety and depth of the questions was wonderful. Though we'd already talked about a lot of the big ticket items, there were definitely things in here that we hadn't discussed, both in terms of details on those items and other topics we hadn't thought about. The questions also helped to clarify or solidify where we, as a couple (and in some cases as individuals), stand on certain topics, and we find ourselves still referencing what we discussed using the questions in this book when making decisions years later. Of course one book or set of conversations won't address every possible thing that could come up in the course of a lifetime, of course some impasses are going to be reached no matter how much you talk, and of course marriage involves an ongoing conversation, but something like this can help with the start.

My partner and I have enjoyed reading this book together, but some of the questions are pretty vague. It has been introspective and has brought some clarity on important subjects!